How to be a Social Person
If you are shy or introverted, being a social person is not easy. Over time your circle of friends has been shrinking. You need a change of environment and new pals, but it’s too challenging to start interacting with people. It is complicated, you expose yourself to the ridiculous, and most of the time it does not materialize in anything. In this article, we are going to discuss how to be a social person.
But what if I told you that it can be much easier than you think?
No, I’m not going to give you the typical advice like “Look safe” or “Just be yourself.” You have already tried that and it does not work. The key is to follow the guidelines that have been scientifically proven to overcome your fears and connect better with people. It is not magic, but if you are constant the results will arrive sooner than you imagine.
The Importance of Being Social
Can you tell me why it is so vital that you make an effort to meet people and keep in touch with your friends?
I think Dr. Waldinger can give you the answer. In an ambitious study that lasted 75 years and in which more than 700 volunteers participated, Waldinger wanted to find the secret of happiness. But he discovered that neither professional success, health, wealth, or fame were essential to be happy. The most important thing was social relationships.
According to Waldinger, it is our personal relationships that keep us happy and healthy. The more lonely someone felt, the more health problems and the less life expectancy they had. In another study from the University of North Carolina, a lack of social relationships was even associated with cancer and cardiovascular disease.
The Benefits of Social Interactions
Do you want to socialize because you need to connect with other people, or simply because you are supposed to?
But are you shy or are you an introvert?
This difference is critical because there are many people who, despite having few friends, do not feel alone. Notice that I have highlighted touched. It is not a matter of how many friends you have, but how you think about the friends you have.
Do you know what people who feel good with few friends are called?
Introverts. And the problem is that society tells us that we must be outgoing to be happy.
Don’t confuse shyness and introversion, because they have nothing to do with each other. Shyness is the difficulty in relating to others, while introverts simply prefer to have few but very close friends.
I, for example, am an introvert but not shy. It’s not hard for me to meet people, but when I’ve been socializing with a lot of people for a couple of hours I get exhausted. I am happy without a great social circle.
Increase Social Interaction
Okay, I want to meet people. But strangers are not social!
Imagine it is 7 in the afternoon and you are sitting in the subway car on your way home. In front of you is a man in a suit who has been quietly reading the newspaper for several seasons.
A young man in his 30s enters one of the stops. He takes a quick look around the car and sits down next to the man who is leafing through the newspaper.
He looks at him, outlines a smile, and asks: “How are you? Any interesting news today? “
What do you think? Do you think he’s bothering the man from the newspaper?
Most of us would consider trying to start a conversation in this case as disrespectful. This is one of the main reasons why shy people have so much trouble meeting people: because they think they are going to be annoying. Nothing is further from reality.
In an experiment carried out in the Chicago subway it was shown that, instead of causing discomfort, when someone starts a conversation with us, it usually makes us feel much better than if we continue alone and in silence.
You will always find people who have had a bad day. You can’t control that and you should stop blaming yourself for it. But that is not human nature. People are sociable and, in general, it feels good to be given conversation.
All that said, let’s see how you can beat shyness, start conversations, and strengthen your relationships according to science.
How to Get Rid of Shyness
For starters, stop referring to yourself as shy.
Whether you think you are or not, the reality is that you suffer from shyness in certain situations. If you were shy “in general” you would have a hard time even with your parents or closest friends.
Most likely, you are shy around strangers or when it is your turn to be the center of attention. So avoid defining yourself as “shy” because all you do is reinforce that idea in your head. There are only situations where you experience shyness.
In conclusion, You have to love social interactions to be a social person. To know more details to eliminate shyness, please check out the above article.
